MY own CHEMICAL ROMANCE

A drink For the Horror that I'm in

No rest for the wicked.  No sleep for me.  No food.  No calm.  Not about me, about my son...about life in my world.  About the unfairness and  horror that encompasses daily life. 

My son was not supposed to be in Technology *Wood shop*, but they put him in there and he mentioned once or twice that he was making a project and that he would like some ear plugs because the machines hurt his ears...

My son made a candle holder-a kitty cat head-out of wood, just the outline, and three holes bored into it for the eyes and nose *that's where the candles were supposed to go*.  It was the Class project.  He had a lot of help, but was proud to have made something and to come home and give it to me.  He made me something. 

Should have been a happy time, right?

Think again.

Welcome to the world of Autism, PDD, Special Needs.  Welcome to the world where you have no rights, where you are the "fool" to all, where you can be abused by others and not know how to stick up for yourself.  To not feel safe to tell the teachers what goes on.  To suffer through the torture and torment of your peers.  Trying to ignore the pain, only to constantly be hurt.

The students in the Class thought it would be a fun thing to do by taking my son's project from him.  They thought it would be funnier to throw it around from one to another while he chased for it and jumped for it.  They blocked the aisles so that he could not get by, they told him he had to hug someone to get it back.  They tripped him, pushed him, laughing...laughing.  They threw it to the floor and kicked it around and stomped on it.  My son kept saying, "Excuse me please, can I have my project back?" running around, trying his hardest to get it back.  Teacher was helping another student in the Shop.

Bell rings, class is over.  Someone gives my son his project back.  They all start up the stairs to their other classes.

Someone takes it back from my son and throws it or kicks it down the stairs and goes to get it back.

He told his Teacher, she e-mailed the Vice Principal and wrote me a note.  I got a call from my family to tell me of this, everyone crying, my son, my sister and mother...all of them, he was crying because they "ruined" his project for me.  He was crying because they hurt him and hit him in the head.  My mother and sister were crying because he hurt.  Because people are horrid.

I called the school, the VP told me that he would look into it, I did not let my son go to school for the next two days.  The first "investigation" found that there were 3 boys involved and 1 girl, she cried and the boys got detentions.  After I went into the school to talk with the Principal, I told him about how my son was assaulted.  Next day I get a call telling me that the 3 boys admitted to pushing my son and they were suspended for 3 days.

My son does not want to go back to school.  My son hates school.  There are many reasons for this.  He feels a lot better about what happened, I thank the gods and stars above that he does.  He understands that I love his project and when I told him that I had wood paints, and he could paint it if he wanted to, he was overjoyed.  We talked about the kids and what happened and spoke frankly with one another.  He felt better about that...I hope that he'll be alright.

I am petrified that when these kids come back to school that he will get it twice as bad, or that something even worse will happen to my son if I let him go back to school. 

He should be in a Special School anyway.  The school feels as though they are doing a marvelous job in teaching my son.  I do not feel the same way.  My son is going to be 15 at the end of the month and is in the 8th grade.  He has the skills of *maybe* a 4th grader.  They will not pay for him to go someplace else.  I am in the lower income bracket, I cannot afford to get him to another school.  I can't afford an advocate.  I can't afford anything.

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to expect.  I don't know where to go from here.  I am scared.  I hurt.  I am tired.  I can't sleep.  Can't eat.  Can't think straight. 

School insists he will be fine coming back on Monday, they "won't let anything happen to him", they'll make sure of it. 

I don't know what to do.

I really don't.

My son is good natured, good hearted, and wouldn't hurt a fly if he could help it...he's a love, he's friendly and outgoing...and this is what he gets?!?!?!?

thank you world...thank you society...thank you uncaring parents...thank you mr. bush...thank you media...thank you ignorant children...thank you world, for fucking his life up and making it much worse than it already is.

Know what?  I'm tired of it, tired of it all, tired...so damn tired.